Therapists: High Functioning Autism/Aspergers and Relationships
I’m wondering if anyone works / has worked with clients who are very high functioning Autism / Aspergers in their therapy
practice? Perhaps even a Savant? I’m looking for additional resources on this topic and particularly around couples therapy with one who is not on the spectrum – and one who is.
Are there any interventions to help increase the ability to be empathic – to step outside themselves and imagine what the other’s world might be like? It’s challenging to get past the intense personalization with what has to be a neurological impediment to this.
There has to be more out there about how to help relationships such as this. I’m just struggling to find it.
Any thoughts and insights would be greatly appreciated.
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Lisa Brookes Kift is a psychotherapist and creator of Notes from a Therapist’s Chair - A Therapy and Counseling Blog; a feature of The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com.
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Hello Lisa
I admire Your work and other therapists who are touching deep feelings .
I wanted to do something in my life to be a help for others so I am using my gift as an artist to
do so.
I believe that sometimes where words and other therapy can not touch the person music can do that. Music created with conscious thought to heal can go into subconscious mind and do so.
I have been helping therapists and doing music therapy for many years.
Maybe you would like to use it too?
Warm regards
Dorothea
Thank you for commenting and sharing your love of music therapy. I have never used it per se in my practice but I believe it must have very healing qualities.
Lisa
I am considered as high functioning aspergers, I find it challenging to be in relationships because of my inability to relate to the mundane, the lack of concreteness in conversations. I am also lesbian which creates another challenge. Developing closeness is difficult. I prefer books over people and believe that I attempt to engage in relationships because It is what is expected. I am 45 and believe that after this relationship ends I am done with trying. It is too much work and the payoff is not there. I would perfer to read conduct research and live alone than to have to feel like I have to share and care about things that I don’t want to share or care about and really don’t care about many things that my current girlfriend cares about. It is a struggle to be in a relationship and they are so overrated.
Val,
I am so pleased to hear from you, a person with high functioning aspergers, sharing the meaning you attach to relationships and how it differs from those who do not have aspergers. This completely reflects the several experiences I’ve had in my therapy practice with people, like you, who do not put the same importance on “relating” and developing closeness as those who don’t have aspergers. It’s hard – and frankly, I can see how you might come to the conclusion that relationships are “overrated.”
Your point about engaging in relationships “because it is what is expected” is really important and I think also extends to how to “be” in a relationship. Empathy can be a real challenge for many with aspergers – really understanding how to connect on that level. I’ve heard it just doesn’t really make sense for many and this is why those in relationships often try to behave as they think they’re supposed to. Of course this could lead a person to eventually feel it’s harder work than it’s worth.
That all being said, it’s not to say that people with aspergers can’t have fulfilling relationships. It takes additional understanding and patience. Social skills training can also help for those really committed to making their relationships work.
Thanks again for sharing Val.
Lisa
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