The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com

I met with my first therapist consultation group today led by Linda Graham, MFT, which will be meeting monthly.  We will be looking at our cases through the lens of neuroscience and attachment. 

After each monthly meeting, I will share some of the most valuable nuggets about doing therapy with the attachment-neuroscience lens.  Linda is one of the most grounded and wise people I’ve ever met and not only does she have a lot of knowledge to share but our group will be reading and exploring books on the subject. 

We settled on our first book to read and process, Being a Brain-Wise Therapist by Bonnie Badenoch.  The assignment given was to read the first three chapters of the book.  I invite any therapists interested in learning about this fascinating area of our field to join me here.  One great way to be notified of new posts on this particular blog is to sign up for the feed here: RSS Feed for Notes from a Therapist’s Chair Blog.  

If you currently have no knowledge of adult attachment patterns or what happens in the brain, you might find my 4 article The Brain and Relationships Series helpful to get grounded in some of the information.

Now for some of the educational nuggets of information from today’s consultation group:

• Clients must learn to regulate themselves emotionally before therapy can be effective.  If not, they are out of their “window of tolerance” and can’t think clearly.
• In a couples dynamic where dysregulation occurs, the person who gets dysregulated must take responsibility for this and learn to regulate.  The partner who tends not to dysregulated has to take responsibility for not being codependent. 
• Attachment wounds stem from not only not getting needs met from primary caregivers but from lacking a sense of efficacy or mastery that they are able to get their needs met.
• People in an ambivalent or avoidant attachment pattern can experience moments of disorganized attachment, particularly if alcohol is involved and the regulatory part of their pre-frontal cortex goes “off-line.”
• People with drinking or drug problems probably have an attachment trauma underneath.
• Attune to the client’s shame.  Draw it out, validate, normalize.

As always, I invite dialogue about any of the points above.  I am in no way an expert in this field but just enthusiastic about learning more – and spreading the word.  

If any therapists who do know something about this subject would like to share their information “nuggets,” all the better!  Insights and links to additional resources are all welcome on the comment form below.

Lastly, check the “notify me of new comments” to be kept in the loop.

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Lisa Brookes Kift is a psychotherapist and creator of Notes from a Therapist’s Chair: The Therapy and Counseling Blog; a feature of The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com

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