Pitbulls and Psychotherapists
I play co-ed volleyball every Sunday night with a local league. Although I love to play sports to “have fun,” who
am I kidding, I’m also highly competitive with myself and others in team sport scenarios. I like to play hard, I get down on myself if I screw up and I hate to lose. There – I said it. Funny, one teammate referred to me fondly as a little “pit bull” on the court because I suppose my petite frame doesn’t match my enthusiasm and gusto when in the throes of a game.
As I was driving home, I got to thinking about how funny it was that none of us on the team really knows anything about each other other than we all live locally and play volleyball. None of us know what the others do for work, for example.
Then I got to thinking, “I wonder how my teammates would react if they knew I was a therapist.”
I started making up a story in my own mind that somehow my competitive energy on the court is out of sync with what others might expect a psychotherapist to be like. Huh….so then what is a therapist “supposed to be like?”
Are we expected to operate in life with some kind of all knowing, buddha-like calmness? I think not – but it’s sort of funny to imagine that. However, there may be other therapists out there whose demeanor in session truly matches them in their lives on a consistent basis.
For me, I wear a therapist hat when I’m working and then I take it off when I leave, well for the most part. This does not mean I don’t try to behave in ways that I know to be beneficial for myself and others – but I wonder what people’s expectations are about how therapists “are” out there.
I still think my teammates would find it fascinating, suprising, if not puzzling to know that I’m a psychotherapist. I can also say with confidence that they would be equally fascinated to be a fly on the wall during one of my sessions. So – who am I? A “pit bull” or a psychotherapist? Maybe I’m both?
Or maybe I’m simply human.
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Lisa Brookes Kift is a psychotherapist and the creator of Notes from a Therapist’s Chair: The Therapy and Counseling Blog, a feature of The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com.
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Funny I was just thinking about the same issue. In fact I published an article on AC recently that was about people’s perception of what I must be like as a mom (not exactly accurate!) http://bit.ly/ITKia
It is always interesting to me how client’s imagine my life and what strangers assume when they find out what I do.
Virgina –
Ah yes, the expectations of how we therapists are “supposed to be.” I guess I can understand why some people might assume we have “perfect” marriages, relationships and families. Or like I indicated in my post that we walk the earth with a kind of “buddha-esque” aura around us. And maybe some therapists do – but I don’t happen to know any.
Yes, I’m a therapist. I just happen to also be a competitive athlete, a wise cracking friend and sometimes impatient mother of a toddler. I’m also probably some combination of a lot of other women out there…
Great discussion.
Lisa