The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com

Are you considering marriage counseling but cost or other issues getting in the way?

The Marriage Refresher Course for Couples , is the second in my series of Therapy-At-Home Workbooks®, (eWorkbooks) providing a cost effective alternative to face-to-face therapy. They are not meant to replace face-to-face counseling but rather provides another option for those seeking relationship improvement.

The Marriage Refresher Course for Couples , is an adapted version of my original premarital workbook that specifically targets those who are already married – for any amount of time! I’ve heard from therapists and non-therapists alike who have agreed that many married couples could benefit from relearning – or learning anew, the principles of premarital counseling work.  Someone even suggested that perhaps if married couples took a premarital counseling course, they might have a greater chance of preventing divorce! When I thought carefully about the primary issues that married couples have brought to me – I noticed a similarity between them and the aspects of my premarital work.  Perhaps if these couples had learned – or remembered – the fundamental elements of how to keep a relationship strong, might they not be in my office in the first place?  A light bulb went off in my head and The Marriage Refresher Course was born.

This marriage counseling workbook is for couples to use together and provides a framework for you to strengthen the relationship foundation that supports your marriage.  Its’ interactive format with worksheets and a space for couples journaling makes it a great keepsake for you and your spouse – to help you keep sight of what’s important. It fuses together the concepts of my premarital work and the primary marriage issues that I have seen in my therapy practice. It’s 71 pages from start to finish and includes the couples counseling theories, methods and exercises used by me in my own San Francisco Bay Area marriage counseling and premarital practice. It will provide you with guide posts leading to an understanding of the basic principles of a strong relationship foundation and emotional safety – the two driving forces underlying my relationship counseling work. In addition, I address several common marriage problems.

My marriage counseling workbook will help you and your spouse:

1 ) Remember Why You Married in the First Place: We’ll take a “walk down memory lane” to conjur up pleasant recollections of how things were in the beginning. Couples married for a long time can forget this usually very loving time.

2 ) Strengthen Your Communication Skills: Being able to effectively listen, truly hear and validate the other’s position is a skill that isn’t necessarily a “given” for many people. Couples that communicate well can discuss and resolve issues when they arise more effectively. I will help you tune up your talking and listening skills. This is one of the most important aspects of emotional safety between couples.  We will discuss in detail ways you can communicate more effectively as well as look at conflict resolution techniques.

3 ) Increase Your Emotional Safety: I have a very specific definition of “emotional safety” and way to assess the level between two people.  They are how much each person feels respect, trust, prioritized, heard, understood, validated, empathy and love from the other.

4 ) Explore Your Relationship Balance: How much attention is paid to the “you,” “me” and “we” of the relationship?  Couples who are out of balance can struggle with a number of issues.  You will identify whether you’re both satisfied with your relationship balance – or if it might benefit you to make a few adjustments.

5 ) Identify Problematic Family of Origin Issues: We learn so much of how to “be” from our parents, primary caregivers and other early influences. If one partner (or both) experienced a high conflict or unloving household, it can be helpful to explore that in regards to how it might be playing out in the marriage. Couples who have an understanding of the existence of potentially problematic conditioning around how relationships work – are usually better at disrupting repetition of these learned behaviors.  We’ll explore what each of you might have brought into your marriage from the past.

6 ) Explore Your Marriage Logistics and Roles: Are both of you satisfied with the way your marriage works and “who” does “what?”  This can apply to job, finances, chores, sexual intimacy and more. There will be opportunity for an open and honest discussion about how you each feel about the way things have been working and if any changes can benefit the marriage.

7 ) Develop or Revisit Your Personal, Couple, Family Goals and Marriage Vision: Many couples have never discussed their relationship goals – let alone personal or family.  There are many areas that can be explored and it can be a fun exercise to do together, whether you did something like this a long time ago or not.  You and your partner will explore the other’s goals and how to combine them into one vision.

8 ) Learn Tips about How to Work Through Three Common Marriage Problems: The three most common marriage problems I’ve seen in my practice involve a build-up of resentment, sexual intimacy issues and infidelity. If you have experienced any of these problems with your spouse, you will learn some tips about how to work through them.

Therapy-At-Home Workbooks®: The Marriage Refresher Course for Couples FAQS

What is an ebook? An ebook is an electronic book which can be read on your computer – or in my case – is also downloadable so you can print it out in order to do the exercises, worksheets and couples journal entries. After it’s been printed, I recommend putting it into a three ring binder so you can easily remove and return the sheets as needed throughout the process of doing the workbook with your partner.

What format is it in? PDF format is a popular format for ebooks and this is the one I’m using. All platforms are able to gain access and read PDF formatting. So regardless if you have a PC or Mac, you’re ok. PDF requires the Acrobat Reader but this software comes on many new computers and if not included, it’s a free downloaded from Adobe http://www.adobe.com.  PDF files are good for printing out pages – which you will be doing.

How much does The Marriage Refresher Course cost? The price for the workbook is $20.00.

How do I get the workbook? You can order securely via PayPal or Google Checkout below. Immediately after completing the transaction you will be redirected to an instant download link. Be aware of the following:

1) Set your spam filter to be able to receive mail from client@e-junkie.com for order confirmation.

2) The item on you billing statement will read, “LisaKiftMFT” on Google CheckOut and “Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT ” on PayPal.

Anything else I should know? Being that there is no way to ”return” and e-book, be advised there is a no refund policy. Also, please note that though this marriage counseling workbook is a face-to-face therapy alternative, it can’t possible replace face-to-face counseling, as clearly the only therapist interraction is guidance via my written word. Though I strive to help guide readers through potentially rough waters, it’s possible that you will be challenged in some of the areas presented. If this happens, I strongly encourage finding a local therapist or counselor in your area.

Feedback: I always welcome feedback.  E-mail me with subject, “The Marriage Refresher Course” in the subject line.

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