Has Your Therapist Had Therapy?
There are a lot of aspects to finding an individual or relationship therapist. Everyone has a different priority list ranging from cost, location, education, gender and more. What about whether the therapist has done any of his/her own therapy work? Some graduate schools require their students have a certain number of therapy hours as a client – but many don’t. Do you want to work with someone who knows what it’s like to sit in the client’s seat? I did. And having done my own work before becoming a therapist, I can’t imagine doing this work without the experience.
Therapists are ethically (and legally in some cases) bound not to let our own “crap” seep into the therapy room. And because we are all human and have our own sensitivities and vulnerabilities due to our own previous experiences – this can be difficult at times.
There are possible signs that your therapist might be letting his/her own “junk” interfere in the relationship:
1) Excessive emotion and telling of personal stories to an extent where it feels the session becomes about them.
2) Engaging in an inappropriate and non therapeutic relationship with the client (some of this can be illegal).
3) Being critical, judgemental, angry – or appearing to have had a hot button triggered in some way.We are taught and are obligated not to allow our “stuff” cloud the client’s therapy session.
Therapists who have done their own therapy and worked through – or are working through – their own issues will be more equipped to be helpful to the consumer.When shopping for a therapist, I propose that one asks whether they’ve done any of their own work. I’d be thrilled to get that question – but I never have. I think it’s a damn good one.
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Lisa Brookes Kift is a therapist in Marin County, California. See more therapy and counseling articles by Lisa in The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com: A Resource for Emotional and Relationship Health.
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What an excellent question! My MFT program required therapy hours. Having being a client, I can’t imagine being as effective a therapist without that experience. I think many of us have the mindset that because we are therapists, we should be able to handle our own “stuff” and hold ourselves to an impossible standard. Also, many potential clients think “why would I pay someone who needs help herself?”
You nailed it on the head. We are human, and have our own vulnerabilities. However, it is up to us, as therapists, to be aware of our triggers and do what we need to do (therapy included) to shield our clients from our stuff.
Hi Natasha,
Great to hear your MFT program required psychotherapy – mine did too. I personally believe all therapists should have sat in the client’s chair at some point. It’s so important for us to be mindful of transference and countertransference issues.
Thanks for your comment.
Lisa
http://LisaKiftTherapy.com