Tag Archive for ‘relationship tips’
5 Ways to Stay Cool in the Face of Another’s Emotional Reactivity
I had a recent experience that tested my patience and challenged me to remain calm in the face of aggressive, critical words. My initial instinct (my primal lizard brain in activation) was to fight back, defend and point out the ways in which this person had totally missed the mark. But I didn’t. This choice [...]
Valentines Day: 8 Simple Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Cared For
With Valentines Day approaching, many couples are considering ways to demonstrate their love and affection for each other. What meaning do you attach to Valentines Day? What are your expectations? I subscribe to the notion that it’s less about “quantity” and more about “quality.” It’s about putting a smile on your sweetie’s face, about making them [...]
Practicing Empathy with your Partner in an Argument
Most simply stated, empathy is the ability to put oneself in another’s shoes – and also the willingness to respond to the person’s needs. I believe it’s one of the most important components of a happy, healthy relationship. Lack of empathy is a very common problem with couples. Many people never learned how to be [...]
How to Stop Being a “Fixer”
Are you constantly trying to “fix” people or your relationships? Do you over-commit to solving other people’s problems at your own cost? This issue is fairly common in my therapy practice – and there are some things you can start thinking about around to how to stop the behavior. Here are 4 things to think about if you’re a “fixer” [...]
Warning! 4 Relationship Red Flags not to Ignore
If your gut is telling you something just isn’t right in your relationship – then something is probably not right. But how many of us have at one time or another ignored the “red flags” waving furiously in front of our faces? Probably a good many of us. Some “red flags” are more serious than [...]
Setting Boundaries for Yourself by Saying “No”
People who struggle with setting boundaries for themselves often struggle with saying “no.” Using that word can literally bring up discomfort for them. For this reason, they over commit, don’t end up with any time for themselves and can even be taken advantage of by others. Their friends, family, partners and coworkers can develop unfair [...]
The Impact of Depression on Relationships
Most of us are aware about the havoc that depression can wreak on somebody. The symptoms can be almost paralyzing; a sensation that a dark cloud stalks them or a pit lingers in their stomach every waking moment. It can be easy to forget the impact of depression on intimate relationships. Unless you’ve been depressed [...]
Couples in Conflict: Learn to Fight Fair in Your Relationship
Conflict is a part of life – and often time relationships. The question is how you manage conflict with your partner - and whether you’re successful at finding peaceful resolutions – or you do more damage. Resentment is toxic to relationships and unhealthy conflict resolution skills can create a mountain of it. Here are 5 signs [...]
Healthy Boundaries in Friendships
True friendships with staying power are typically the ones where both parties get something out of the relationship. The problem is, a lot of people don’t know how to be a good friend. There are boundary violators, mean people and energy vampires all around us. The interesting thing is that so many people choose to [...]
Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
The following are practical tools and tips you can try in your own relationship or marriage. These are techniques I use in my own couples therapy and counseling practice. You’ll find topics including healthy relationships, setting healthy boundaries, couples communication and more. I hope you find the following advice useful for whatever problem you’re seeking [...]
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