The Impact of Depression on Relationships
Most of us are aware about the havoc that depression can wreak on somebody. The symptoms can be almost paralyzing; a
sensation that a dark cloud stalks them or a pit lingers in their stomach every waking moment. It can be easy to forget the impact of depression on intimate relationships.
Unless you’ve been depressed – or have been with someone who has struggled with it, you may not have ever considered this. Most people think of depression as a solitary experience for the individual. But the reality is, a partner struggles along with the depressed person not only while they observe the person they care about in pain – but his/her inability to engage them in the relationship.
If depression is left unattended, not only can the person affected continue to suffer but the relationship they are in can slowly unravel as affected person spends much of the time “checked out” and sitting in their pain.
If you have a partner who is depressed and hasn’t done anything about it – ask them to seek help for the sake of the relationship. Sometimes this is enough to motivate change. If he/she won’t seek help – at least seek some support for yourself.
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Lisa Brookes Kift is an individual and couples therapist and creator of The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com. Sign up for The Toolbox Monthly Newsletter , subscribe to the Relationship Tips and Tools RSS Feed , follow her on Twitter or become a fan on Facebook – to receive the latest marriage and relationship tips, tools and advice from Lisa and other therapy professionals.
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I agree with this article. It is so very important that the significant other obtain support for themselves. When I went into my current major depressive episode, I urged my husband to speak with my therapist and he continues to have therapy every other week with him. Both report that this has been extremely helpful in my husband understanding why I act the way I do and suggestions on what to do as well of taking care of himself…he is quite good at it now. :-)
When I as working, I often would encourage parents to seek counseling to teach them how to handle the “problem child.” Same type of encouragement for couples. Sometimes worked out sometimes didn’t…but, I tried. Maybe, the next person down the road will break through with help with my little chipping.
Lisa,
Thanks for making this important point. I work with several clients whose spouses refuse therapy despite a pressing need. My clients avail themselves of therapeutic help so as to better handle their depressed spouses. It is common that eventually the gap between them grows so great, that the unwilling spouses enter therapy just to close the gap, and thus begins the wonderful process of healing.