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Establish a solid friendship with your spouse.

So simple – yet so many marriages are not based in friendship.  Many seeking marriage advice overlook this idea. 

This isn’t about whether you and your spouse like each other or if you like to hang out with your spouse for date night or in the morning for coffee. I’m asking if you’re really “pals” with your spouse.

When I think of the happiest marriages I know, they love to laugh together, chide each other and consider each other partners, lovers and great friends.

In my marriage counseling practice, I always encourage couples to find this special quality together. If it was really never there to begin with – that’s ok. It can be developed.

So go ahead and think of a really funny nickname for each other and start using it. Many of you married folks probably have nicknames already.  Remember they can’t be mean spirited! Now that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn’t it? 

Though this marriage advice may be “simple” in form - it’s not necessarily an easy thing to achieve, especially if there’s a lot of resentment that’s built up between you.  But I encourage you to keep it in mind and try to figure out how to develop – or reconnect to the friendship piece in your marriage.

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Lisa Brookes Kift is a marriage counselor and author of The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples.  To ask Lisa for marriage advice go to the home page and fill out the green box on the bottom right.

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