The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com

If you think marriage counseling is only for couples who are at the end of their ropes, you might be missing a number of opportunites to improve your marriage in ways that might actually help you avoid major distress!  Counselors are trained in relationship dynamics and have a wealth of tips and tools at their finger tips – to pass on to you.  If you and your spouse are committed to each other and are willing to do the work – it’s all right there for you!

Consider the following ways marriage counseling can help:

• Teach healthy patterns of communication.  Whether you and your spouse have never communicated well – or you used to but mitigating factors have led to both of you forgetting what you know, marriage counseling can help identify how your communication style can be improved. 
• Help put the focus back on the marriage.  It’s very easy to stop prioritizing your marriage, especially with young children, busy careers and the general hustle and bustle of life.  This is a common issue for couples that often can be improved with a simple refocus of the lens in which you view your marriage – and attention paid to each other. 
• Work through resentment build-up on tougher issues.  If you and your spouse have some resentment starting to block your connection, sometimes these emotionally loaded conversations are better had in front of a marriage counselor who can contain the emotional reactivity in the room and facilitate working through it more productively and ideally, without more damage done. 

If you’re considering marriage counseling, there are a number of ways to find counselors in your area.  Getting a referral is always a great idea but if you’re not comfortable with asking around for that kind of information, there are a few therapist directories like www.family-marriage-counseling.com that can point you in the right direction.

If you happen to be in the San Francisco / North Bay / Marin County area, learn about my marriage counseling  services.

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Lisa Brookes Kift is a couples therapist and author of The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples and The Premarital Counseling Workbook for Couples.  See more marriage articles by Lisa.

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