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I was married right out of high school and divorced two years later, we were together for a total of 5 years and have a daughter during that time. I recently began talking to my ex wife (we haven’t spoken in 24 years) and the conversations that we are having have little to do with the past things or reasons that we divorced, in fact these conversations have lasted up to 3 hours at a time and have been quite pleasant.

Even through the infidelity, that caused our divorce, we never had cross words. Our contact began when our daughter contacted me and we began spending time together, learning about each other and building a relationship that had been non existent until 3 years ago.

On a Whim I suggested that we meet for a weekend in Las Vegas and she immediatly accepted and I purchase air fare and hotel accomodations for us.

I guess my question is, is it fairly normal for a couple who were each the others first love to find each other after many years and that love again? I am open to returning to this relationship and She raised the question “what If We find each other and fall in love again in Las Vegas” ? Am I wrong to be being cautious?

LISA’S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE:

What an interesting and heartwarming story! There is certainly nothing “abnormal” about it and a testament to the fact that people can find each other – and love each other – again. Even 24 years later! I do believe that a lot of people hold a special place in their hearts for their first loves. Though there was infidelity previously, clearly there’s something special that has drawn you two back together. Keep in mind at some point the old issues may resurface and might benefit from being worked through. Clearing old resentments can only strengthen your relationship foundation if that is what you both want to do.

I would encourage you to take it slowly, listen to your instincts and open your heart to the possibilities. It’s perfectly understandable that you would feel “cautious” in this situation. There’s a long history that includes producing a child that you share as well as a lot of time since you’ve known each other. People go through a lot of changes in their lives. It might not work out but it could be a wonderful love story. I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.

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Lisa Brookes Kift is a couples therapist and creator of Ask the Therapist – A Marriage and Relationship Advice Blog; a feature of The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com.  Read relationship articles by Lisa – or shorter quick relationship tips and tools.

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