Is Revenge So Sweet After All?
Think revenge is sweet? Think again. 
A study by Colgate University psychologist Kevin Carlsmith found that those who sought revenge actually ended up feeling worse, not better. Those in the study who felt less angry were the ones who did not retaliate.
Carlsmith speculates that avengers end up feeling sorry for their target and suddenly find themselves people they don’t want to be. He also believes revenge may have a evolutionary function in helping ensure the group cooperates by pointing out and punishing antisocial behavior.
When a person feels as though they’ve been deeply slighted or hurt – it’s understandable that the depth of rage might lead them to want to seek revenge. It appears as though this is truly not helpful and encouraging to one’s mental health but rather counterproductive.
So if seeking revenge isn’t the answer, what’s one to do when they feel so angry and hurt? Here are a few tips around more healthy expressions of anger:
- Journal about it – the act of writing it out can take some of the sting out of the uncomfortable feelings
- Talk to a friend or family member – sharing what’s going on for you with another person lets anger out safely
- Get out and go for a walk or run – getting oxygen into your blood will help calm your sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight response) and help you return to a state of clearer thinking
- Get mindful - research has shown that a mindful meditation practice can help not only promote well being – but transform the brain (www.drdansiegel.com)
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Lisa Brookes Kift is a psychotherapist and creator of The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com. Read more mental health tips and tools by Lisa – or subscribe to The Toolbox Mental Health Tips and Tools RSS Feed. Other ways to follow The Toolbox are via Twitter or Facebook.
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