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	<title>The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com</title>
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	<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com</link>
	<description>Tools for Marriage, Relationship and Emotional Health.  Articles, tips, advice.</description>
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		<title>Warning! 4 Relationship Red Flags not to Ignore</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:21:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship red flags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=1679</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If your gut is telling you something just isn&#8217;t right in your relationship &#8211; then something is probably not right.  But how many of us have at one time or another ignored the &#8220;red flags&#8221; waving furiously in front of our faces?  Probably a good many of us.  Some &#8220;red flags&#8221; are more serious than [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/relationship-alert-dont-ignore-the-warning-signs/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Relationship Alert! Don&#8217;t Ignore the Warning Signs by Rod Louden, LMFT'>Relationship Alert! Don&#8217;t Ignore the Warning Signs by Rod Louden, LMFT</a> <small>As a psychotherapist in Los Angeles, I routinely get calls...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship'>5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship</a> <small>I&#8217;ve written a lot about healthy relationships and what aspects...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/relationship-tips-and-tools-by-relationship-therapist-lisa-brookes-kift/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT'>Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</a> <small>The following are practical tools and tips you can try...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Childhood Experience and Adult Anxiety</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-articles/childhood-experience-and-adult-anxiety/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-articles/childhood-experience-and-adult-anxiety/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Aug 2010 12:21:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family of Origin Issues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Therapy and Counseling Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GAD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[generalized anxiety disorder]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=333</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are many types of adult anxiety . The anxiety disorder I’ve had the most contact with in my experience as a therapist is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and from here on when I speak of “anxiety” I will be referring to this. I believe that people’s emotional and/or psychological distress as adults can partially [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-tips-tools-advice/steps-to-identify-your-unhelpful-belief-systems/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Steps to Identify Your Unhelpful Belief Systems'>Steps to Identify Your Unhelpful Belief Systems</a> <small>Do you struggle with anger, depression or anxiety and have...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-tips-tools-advice/calming-the-spinning-thoughts-of-anxiety/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Calming the Spinning Thoughts of Anxiety'>Calming the Spinning Thoughts of Anxiety</a> <small>People who suffer with the distressing symptoms of anxiety often...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/therapy-counseling/therapy-counseling-articles/8-reasons-you-might-benefit-from-family-of-origin-style-psychotherapy/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 8 Reasons You Might Benefit from Family of Origin Style Psychotherapy'>8 Reasons You Might Benefit from Family of Origin Style Psychotherapy</a> <small>Family of origin style psychotherapy (or “family of origin work” as...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Relationship Advice: Should I Pick My Man or My Career Opportunity?</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/ask-the-therapist-a-marriage-and-relationship-advice-blog/relationship-advice-should-i-pick-my-man-or-my-career-opportunity/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/ask-the-therapist-a-marriage-and-relationship-advice-blog/relationship-advice-should-i-pick-my-man-or-my-career-opportunity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:13:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Ask the Therapist - A Marriage and Relationship Advice Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Long Distance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love or career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://relationshipadvice.lisakifttherapy.com/?p=46</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve been with my man for 2 years now but for the second year I been out of town at a trade school. I have the opportunity to further my education for free but I would have to go out of state. He says that he&#8217;s starting to get depressed and cant take not being [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/ask-the-therapist-a-marriage-and-relationship-advice-blog/relationship-advice-my-fiance-wont-give-me-time-to-myself/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Relationship Advice: My Fiance Won&#8217;t Give Me Time to Myself!'>Relationship Advice: My Fiance Won&#8217;t Give Me Time to Myself!</a> <small>I&#8217;m proud 2 say that I&#8217;m in a loving relationship...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/ask-the-therapist-a-marriage-and-relationship-advice-blog/ask-the-therapist-i-love-him-but-his-lack-of-compromise-scares-me/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Relationship Advice: I Love Him but his Lack of Compromise Scares Me'>Relationship Advice: I Love Him but his Lack of Compromise Scares Me</a> <small>After a wonderful year and a half together, my boyfriend...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/ask-the-therapist-a-marriage-and-relationship-advice-blog/relationship-advice-lack-of-emotional-safety-in-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Relationship Advice: Lack of Emotional Safety in Relationship'>Relationship Advice: Lack of Emotional Safety in Relationship</a> <small>I read your article on &#8220;emotional safety&#8221; and it seems...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>In the Spotlight &#8211; Jennifer Lehr, MFT</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/tools-for-therapists-counselors/therapist-in-the-spotlight-article-of-the-month/therapist-in-the-spotlight-margaret-paul-ph-d/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/tools-for-therapists-counselors/therapist-in-the-spotlight-article-of-the-month/therapist-in-the-spotlight-margaret-paul-ph-d/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Aug 2010 06:13:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Therapist in the Spotlight - Article of the Month]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[article of the month]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[therapist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=1147</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Article of the Month for September 2010 / Also featured in The Toolbox Newsletter

 Thriving in Relationships Despite a Painful Past by Jennifer Lehr, MFT
Jennifer Lehr is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist,  writer and educator, providing individual and couples therapy as well as Life Coaching in Del Mar, California.
&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-
Previous Articles of the Month:
Women and Stress:  The [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/thriving-in-relationships-despite-a-painful-past/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Thriving in Relationships Despite a Painful Past by Jennifer Lehr, MFT'>Thriving in Relationships Despite a Painful Past by Jennifer Lehr, MFT</a> <small>Making love last is a concern for anybody with a...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/the-mental-health-place-a-mental-health-blog/becoming-psychologically-healthy-by-jennifer-lehr-mft/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Becoming Psychologically Healthy by Jennifer Lehr, MFT'>Becoming Psychologically Healthy by Jennifer Lehr, MFT</a> <small>We sometimes believe that if we are &#8220;good&#8221; people, good...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/safety-and-reactivity-in-relationships/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Safety and Reactivity in Relationships by Jennifer Lehr, LMFT'>Safety and Reactivity in Relationships by Jennifer Lehr, LMFT</a> <small>How many times have we begun a relationship, full of...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Thriving in Relationships Despite a Painful Past by Jennifer Lehr, MFT</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/thriving-in-relationships-despite-a-painful-past/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/thriving-in-relationships-despite-a-painful-past/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Aug 2010 21:36:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[make love last]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thrive in relationship despite painful past]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4025</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Making love last is a concern for anybody with a relationship history that has included disappointment, pain and loss. How do we do it differently the next time around?
What starts for so many as a blissful connected loving state often turns into sadness riddled with problematic behavior and seemingly un-resolvable conflicts. How can we learn [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/safety-and-reactivity-in-relationships/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Safety and Reactivity in Relationships by Jennifer Lehr, LMFT'>Safety and Reactivity in Relationships by Jennifer Lehr, LMFT</a> <small>How many times have we begun a relationship, full of...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/the-mental-health-place-a-mental-health-blog/becoming-psychologically-healthy-by-jennifer-lehr-mft/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Becoming Psychologically Healthy by Jennifer Lehr, MFT'>Becoming Psychologically Healthy by Jennifer Lehr, MFT</a> <small>We sometimes believe that if we are &#8220;good&#8221; people, good...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/tools-for-therapists-counselors/therapist-in-the-spotlight-article-of-the-month/therapist-in-the-spotlight-margaret-paul-ph-d/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: In the Spotlight &#8211; Jennifer Lehr, MFT'>In the Spotlight &#8211; Jennifer Lehr, MFT</a> <small>Article of the Month for September 2010 / Also featured in...</small></li></ol>

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		<title>Relationship Advice: Should I Move On From My Relationship?</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/ask-the-therapist-a-marriage-and-relationship-advice-blog/relationship-advice-should-i-move-on-from-my-relationship/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/ask-the-therapist-a-marriage-and-relationship-advice-blog/relationship-advice-should-i-move-on-from-my-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:10:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Ask the Therapist - A Marriage and Relationship Advice Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship cycles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://relationshipadvice.lisakifttherapy.com/?p=5</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m really looking for some outside input on this. I&#8217;ve really struggled over the past 3 months with my girlfriend. To be concise, I&#8217;ve really become more sensitive to all the minor things she does and I get frustrated with it, such as her getting annoyed/irritated about certain things that I do, but it&#8217;s not like I&#8217;m going [...]


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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>6 Secret Qualities of Happy People</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-articles/6-secret-qualities-of-happy-people/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-articles/6-secret-qualities-of-happy-people/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[qualities of happy people]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=342</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If there&#8217;s one thing that we all seek &#8211; it&#8217;s happiness. I&#8217;ve never met a person who has told me they didn&#8217;t want to be happy, have you?  It&#8217;s a fundamental human desire regardless of whether people believe they can attain it. 
When I do individual therapy, I have the opportunity to sit down with people as they [...]


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		<item>
		<title>How to Heal from Infidelity</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/how-to-heal-from-infidelity/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/how-to-heal-from-infidelity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 06:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage article]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=286</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Infidelity is certainly one of the most challenging issues a couple can face. The depth of pain experienced by the partner who was cheated on can be excruciating. For those who are not able to move past this transgression, it can represent the death of the relationship. The breach of trust is simply too much [...]


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		<title>Recovered Memories of Childhood Abuse by Jane Rowan</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/the-mental-health-place-a-mental-health-blog/recovered-memories-of-childhood-abuse/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/the-mental-health-place-a-mental-health-blog/recovered-memories-of-childhood-abuse/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Aug 2010 06:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Childhood Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inner Child]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Mental Health Place - A Mental Health Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood sexual abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental health blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[survivor of childhood sexual abuse]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=453</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Why are memories of abuse so often hidden?
This is a really hard question for people in recovery from abuse, for therapists, and for researchers. In my case, I didn’t recognize one of my early childhood memories as a memory of abuse until I was in my fifties. Then physical memories started to come back to [...]


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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Couples Conflict:  Stop Blaming Your Partner and Own Your Role</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-conflict-stop-blaming-your-partner-and-own-your-role/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-conflict-stop-blaming-your-partner-and-own-your-role/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:23:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3986</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;If she didn&#8217;t act like such a brat I wouldn&#8217;t blow up!&#8221;
I hear this kind of statement in my couples counseling practice a lot &#8211; and I understand how easy it is for people to slip into blaming their partner rather than looking at their role.  It&#8217;s so much easier, isn&#8217;t it?  Yes but it&#8217;s [...]


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