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	<title>The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com &#187; Relationship Problems</title>
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	<description>Tools for Marriage, Relationship and Emotional Health.  Articles, tips, advice.</description>
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		<title>5 Ways to Stay Cool in the Face of Another&#8217;s Emotional Reactivity</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-ways-to-stay-cool-in-the-face-of-anothers-emotional-reactivity/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=5-ways-to-stay-cool-in-the-face-of-anothers-emotional-reactivity</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-ways-to-stay-cool-in-the-face-of-anothers-emotional-reactivity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Sep 2011 22:58:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional Intelligence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness in Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional reactivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=5199</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I had a recent experience that tested my patience and challenged me to remain calm in the face of aggressive, critical words.  My initial instinct (my primal lizard brain in activation) was to fight back, defend and point out the ways in which this person had totally missed the mark.  But I didn&#8217;t.  This choice [...]
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<li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/emotional-wounds-ways-they-can-show-up-in-your-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Emotional Wounds:  Ways They Can Show Up in Your Relationship'>Emotional Wounds:  Ways They Can Show Up in Your Relationship</a> <small>Do you believe things that happened in your past can...</small></li>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Relationship Problems?  Try Dwelling on the Positive</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-problems-try-dwelling-on-the-positive/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=relationship-problems-try-dwelling-on-the-positive</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-problems-try-dwelling-on-the-positive/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:40:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=5032</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do you and your partner ever dwell on the positive in your relationship?  Maybe you should. It&#8217;s really easy to dwell on the negative in our personal lives and relationships.  The brain is wired to have a negativity bias.  In other words, it is more reactive to negative stimulii.  This being the case, it&#8217;s clear how [...]
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Emotional Wounds:  Ways They Can Show Up in Your Relationship</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/emotional-wounds-ways-they-can-show-up-in-your-relationship/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=emotional-wounds-ways-they-can-show-up-in-your-relationship</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/emotional-wounds-ways-they-can-show-up-in-your-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 09 Jul 2011 18:35:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Painful Past in Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional wounds in relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship your past and relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4941</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do you believe things that happened in your past can impact how you function in your relationships?  If you don&#8217;t, you&#8217;re not alone.  Being a psychotherapist who works with individuals and couples, I&#8217;ve heard countless time, &#8220;The past is done.  There&#8217;s no point in rehashing old stuff.&#8221;  It&#8217;s certainly not useful to get stuck on [...]
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<li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/14-ways-to-make-repair-attempts-in-your-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='14 Ways to Make Repair Attempts in Your Relationship'>14 Ways to Make Repair Attempts in Your Relationship</a> <small>Couples argue.  This is a reality.  Some escalate to damaging levels of...</small></li>
</ol>

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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Is Your Communication Device Hurting Your Relationships?</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/is-your-communication-device-hurting-your-relationships/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=is-your-communication-device-hurting-your-relationships</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/is-your-communication-device-hurting-your-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Mar 2011 23:29:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication device negatively impacting relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[iPhone distraction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4630</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The other day I was checking my iPhone while sitting in the car with my three year old in the back seat and he said, &#8220;Mom, don&#8217;t do that.&#8221;  I realized for the first time that he has noticed my &#8220;checking&#8221; of e-mails and really &#8220;got&#8221; that it was impacting him.  I guess I assumed he [...]
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Staying Put after a Lifetime of Abandonment and Grand Exits by Amy Eden</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/topics/relationship-problems-topics-relationships/staying-put-after-a-lifetime-of-abandonment-and-grand-exits-by-amy-eden/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=staying-put-after-a-lifetime-of-abandonment-and-grand-exits-by-amy-eden</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/topics/relationship-problems-topics-relationships/staying-put-after-a-lifetime-of-abandonment-and-grand-exits-by-amy-eden/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Dec 2010 20:10:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Painful Past in Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Survivor Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abandonment issues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4386</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[First you&#8217;re abandoned, then you live with an urge to flee.  I have spent my entire life anxiously ready for things to fall apart.  My shoulders are never completely without tension, same for my eyes in their sockets.  There&#8217;s always the potential for a need to leave. I have spent my entire life ready to [...]
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>And Baby Makes&#8230;a Disconnected Relationship?</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/and-baby-makes-a-disconnected-relationship/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=and-baby-makes-a-disconnected-relationship</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/and-baby-makes-a-disconnected-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Dec 2010 16:40:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex in Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4363</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Everyone knows that as wonderful as having children is &#8211; it changes everything.  In particular, the marriage or relationship from which the kids are born can take a significant hit.  According to a recent study by the University of Denver, a whopping 90% of parents report a drop in relationship satisfaction after a baby lands on the radar.  It [...]
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sex in Relationships:  The Issues of Low Arousal or Desire by Moushumi Ghose, MFT</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/sex-in-relationships-the-issues-of-low-arousal-or-desire-by-moushumi-ghose-mft/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=sex-in-relationships-the-issues-of-low-arousal-or-desire-by-moushumi-ghose-mft</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/sex-in-relationships-the-issues-of-low-arousal-or-desire-by-moushumi-ghose-mft/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Nov 2010 20:59:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex in Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[low sex arousal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[low sex desire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex therapist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4280</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the most common sexual concerns that women complain of when it comes to sex is a lack of arousal or low desire.  This does seem to be more common in women who are in their 20’s and often we may see these resolve themselves as women get older. It’s been said that women reach their sexual [...]
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What is an Energy Vampire? by Judith Orloff, MD</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/topics/relationship-problems-topics-relationships/what-is-an-energy-vampire/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=what-is-an-energy-vampire</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/topics/relationship-problems-topics-relationships/what-is-an-energy-vampire/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Oct 2010 12:00:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[energy vampires]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy boundaries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=624</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Relationships are always an energy exchange. To stay feeling our best, we must ask ourselves: Who gives us energy? Who saps it? It’s important to be surrounded by supportive, heart-centered people who make us feel safe and secure. It’s equally important to pinpoint the energy vampires, who, whether they intend to or not, leech our [...]
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Emotional and Relationship Health:  Social Networking and the Problem of Over-Connection</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/emotional-and-relationship-health-social-networking-and-the-problem-of-over-connection/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=emotional-and-relationship-health-social-networking-and-the-problem-of-over-connection</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/emotional-and-relationship-health-social-networking-and-the-problem-of-over-connection/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Oct 2010 17:12:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional / Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4257</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Like many of you, I am a social networker.  I use social networking for personal use (friends and family) as well as for my therapy and writing related endeavors.  I use Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn but there are a vast sea of other options should you want them.  Where do you draw the line?  Do you [...]
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Stop Being a &#8220;Fixer&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/how-to-stop-being-a-fixer/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=how-to-stop-being-a-fixer</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/how-to-stop-being-a-fixer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 Sep 2010 06:00:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships Misc.]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stop being a fixer]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=391</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you constantly trying to &#8220;fix&#8221; people or your relationships? Do you over-commit to solving other people&#8217;s problems at your own cost? This issue is fairly common in my therapy practice &#8211; and there are some things you can  start thinking about around to how to stop the behavior. Here are 4 things to think about if you&#8217;re a &#8220;fixer&#8221; [...]
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