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	<title>The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com &#187; Topics</title>
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	<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com</link>
	<description>Tools for Marriage, Relationship and Emotional Health.  Articles, tips, advice.</description>
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		<title>Want a Better Marriage?  Talk! by Marlon Familton, LMHC</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/want-a-better-marriage-talk-by-marlon-familton-lmhc/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/want-a-better-marriage-talk-by-marlon-familton-lmhc/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2010 22:08:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4043</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Does this sound like a no brainer?  I agree.  Yet many couples who come in to see me for marriage counseling do not talk to each other!  They do not intentionally spend time opening up and sharing their thoughts and feelings together.  How can you learn to love each other better if you are not [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/maintaining-a-happy-healthy-relationship-after-parenthood/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Maintaining a Happy, Healthy Relationship after Parenthood by Cynthia Shaw, LMHC'>Maintaining a Happy, Healthy Relationship after Parenthood by Cynthia Shaw, LMHC</a> <small>The challenges couples face after becoming parents are varied and...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/is-your-marriage-going-through-the-terrible-twos/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Is Your Marriage Going Through the Terrible Two&#8217;s? by Richard Nicastro, PhD'>Is Your Marriage Going Through the Terrible Two&#8217;s? by Richard Nicastro, PhD</a> <small>Is your relationship going through the &#8220;terrible twos?&#8221; Marriage and...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/is-your-spouse-your-best-friend-how-to-keep-the-fun-in-your-marriage/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend? How to Keep the Fun in Your Marriage by Resa Fremed, LMFT'>Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend? How to Keep the Fun in Your Marriage by Resa Fremed, LMFT</a> <small>When was the last time you went on a date...</small></li></ol>

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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Warning! 4 Relationship Red Flags not to Ignore</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:21:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship red flags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=1679</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If your gut is telling you something just isn&#8217;t right in your relationship &#8211; then something is probably not right.  But how many of us have at one time or another ignored the &#8220;red flags&#8221; waving furiously in front of our faces?  Probably a good many of us.  Some &#8220;red flags&#8221; are more serious than [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/relationship-alert-dont-ignore-the-warning-signs/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Relationship Alert! Don&#8217;t Ignore the Warning Signs by Rod Louden, LMFT'>Relationship Alert! Don&#8217;t Ignore the Warning Signs by Rod Louden, LMFT</a> <small>As a psychotherapist in Los Angeles, I routinely get calls...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship'>5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship</a> <small>I&#8217;ve written a lot about healthy relationships and what aspects...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/relationship-tips-and-tools-by-relationship-therapist-lisa-brookes-kift/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT'>Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</a> <small>The following are practical tools and tips you can try...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Thriving in Relationships Despite a Painful Past by Jennifer Lehr, MFT</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/thriving-in-relationships-despite-a-painful-past/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/thriving-in-relationships-despite-a-painful-past/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Aug 2010 21:36:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Painful Past in Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[make love last]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thrive in relationship despite painful past]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4025</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Making love last is a concern for anybody with a relationship history that has included disappointment, pain and loss. How do we do it differently the next time around?
What starts for so many as a blissful connected loving state often turns into sadness riddled with problematic behavior and seemingly un-resolvable conflicts. How can we learn [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/safety-and-reactivity-in-relationships/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Safety and Reactivity in Relationships by Jennifer Lehr, LMFT'>Safety and Reactivity in Relationships by Jennifer Lehr, LMFT</a> <small>How many times have we begun a relationship, full of...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/the-mental-health-place-a-mental-health-blog/becoming-psychologically-healthy-by-jennifer-lehr-mft/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Becoming Psychologically Healthy by Jennifer Lehr, MFT'>Becoming Psychologically Healthy by Jennifer Lehr, MFT</a> <small>We sometimes believe that if we are &#8220;good&#8221; people, good...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/tools-for-therapists-counselors/therapist-in-the-spotlight-article-of-the-month/therapist-in-the-spotlight-margaret-paul-ph-d/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: In the Spotlight &#8211; Jennifer Lehr, MFT'>In the Spotlight &#8211; Jennifer Lehr, MFT</a> <small>Article of the Month for September 2010 / Also featured in...</small></li></ol>

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		<title>How to Heal from Infidelity</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/how-to-heal-from-infidelity/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/how-to-heal-from-infidelity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 06:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage article]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=286</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Infidelity is certainly one of the most challenging issues a couple can face. The depth of pain experienced by the partner who was cheated on can be excruciating. For those who are not able to move past this transgression, it can represent the death of the relationship. The breach of trust is simply too much [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/a-few-quick-tips-on-infidelity/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: A Few Quick Tips on Infidelity'>A Few Quick Tips on Infidelity</a> <small>Infidelity is a challenging issue for couples to work through but...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/extramarital-affair-infidelity-recovery-by-james-w-walkup-d-min-mft/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Extramarital Affair / Infidelity Recovery by James W. Walkup, D.Min, MFT'>Extramarital Affair / Infidelity Recovery by James W. Walkup, D.Min, MFT</a> <small>After the discovery of an extramarital affair, your life goes...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/are-you-in-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Are You in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?'>Are You in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?</a> <small>Signs of Abuse Do you feel like you have to...</small></li></ol>

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		<title>Couples Conflict:  Stop Blaming Your Partner and Own Your Role</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-conflict-stop-blaming-your-partner-and-own-your-role/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-conflict-stop-blaming-your-partner-and-own-your-role/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:23:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3986</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;If she didn&#8217;t act like such a brat I wouldn&#8217;t blow up!&#8221;
I hear this kind of statement in my couples counseling practice a lot &#8211; and I understand how easy it is for people to slip into blaming their partner rather than looking at their role.  It&#8217;s so much easier, isn&#8217;t it?  Yes but it&#8217;s [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-in-conflict-5-signs-you-dont-fight-fair/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Couples in Conflict: Learn to Fight Fair in Your Relationship'>Couples in Conflict: Learn to Fight Fair in Your Relationship</a> <small>Conflict is a part of life &#8211; and often time...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/practicing-empathy-with-your-partner-in-an-argument/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Practicing Empathy with your Partner in an Argument'>Practicing Empathy with your Partner in an Argument</a> <small>Most simply stated, empathy is the ability to put oneself...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/money-conflict-in-marriage-relationships/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Money Conflict in Marriage / Relationships'>Money Conflict in Marriage / Relationships</a> <small>There are a number of common issues that come up...</small></li></ol>

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		<title>3 Quick Ways to Spice up your Sex Life by Mou Wilson, MFT</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/3-quick-ways-to-spice-up-your-sex-life-by-mou-wilson-mft/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/3-quick-ways-to-spice-up-your-sex-life-by-mou-wilson-mft/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Aug 2010 06:00:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex in Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Healthy Relationships Place - A Relationship Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spice up your sex life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=2045</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Intimacy &#8211; physical and emotional &#8211; is essential for any long-term intimate relationship to succeed. Our intimacy needs vary from each other, and thus do our relationships. The quality of your intimacy can determine the quality of your relationship. When our relationships flourish so do our lives.
I hear too many complaints from couples who have [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/the-skinny-on-sex-diets-by-mou-wilson-mft/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Sex in Relationships: The Skinny on Sex Diets by Mou Wilson, MFT'>Sex in Relationships: The Skinny on Sex Diets by Mou Wilson, MFT</a> <small>When we talk about a successful marriage or long term...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/a-few-quick-tips-on-infidelity/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: A Few Quick Tips on Infidelity'>A Few Quick Tips on Infidelity</a> <small>Infidelity is a challenging issue for couples to work through but...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/why-you-cant-just-give-in-by-barbi-pecenco-kolski-imf/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Why You Can&#8217;t Just Give In by Barbi Pecenco Kolski, IMF'>Why You Can&#8217;t Just Give In by Barbi Pecenco Kolski, IMF</a> <small>We have a couple of choices in our relationships when...</small></li></ol>

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		<title>10 Tips for a Good Relationship by Dawn J. Lipthrott, LCSW</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/10-tips-for-a-good-relationship/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/10-tips-for-a-good-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Aug 2010 06:00:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Healthy Relationships Place - A Relationship Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=649</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Every morning make a conscious commitment to eliminate blame, criticism, and invalidation from your side of the relationship. If it leaks out, acknowledge it, and apologize to your partner.
2. Pay attention to and express appreciation for positive things your partner says or does–no matter how small!
3. Ask your partner to write down what makes [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/the-truth-of-fundamental-need-and-fear/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Truth of Fundamental Need and Fear by Jonathan Goodman-Herrick, LCSW'>The Truth of Fundamental Need and Fear by Jonathan Goodman-Herrick, LCSW</a> <small>We want somebody to comfort us, save us, give us...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/commitment-the-essential-ingredient-in-your-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Commitment &#8211; The Essential Ingredient in Your Relationship by Richard Nicasto, Ph.D.'>Commitment &#8211; The Essential Ingredient in Your Relationship by Richard Nicasto, Ph.D.</a> <small>Anyone who has run a marathon knows about commitment. To...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/6-tips-for-talking-about-money-effectively/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 6 Tips for Talking About Money Effectively by James W. Walkup, D.Min., LMFT'>6 Tips for Talking About Money Effectively by James W. Walkup, D.Min., LMFT</a> <small>1. Discuss money only when you are both rested and...</small></li></ol>

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		<title>Emotional Safety in Friendships</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/emotional-safety-in-friendships/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/emotional-safety-in-friendships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Aug 2010 23:24:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional safety in friendships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3967</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s not just couples who can benefit from creating the most emotionally safe atmosphere between them.  In my article, Healthy Relationships:  Assessing the Emotional Safety I speak of ways to increase this sense of comfort and security between partners.  Let&#8217;s take a look at how this translates to friendship and how you can be the [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-tips-tools-advice/emotional-health-tips-who-are-your-friends/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Emotional Health and Quality of Friendships'>Emotional Health and Quality of Friendships</a> <small>Because emotional health and relationship health are so intertwined it&#8217;s...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/healthy-boundaries-in-friendships/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Healthy Boundaries in Friendships'>Healthy Boundaries in Friendships</a> <small>True friendships with staying power are typically the ones where...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/ask-the-therapist-a-marriage-and-relationship-advice-blog/relationship-advice-lack-of-emotional-safety-in-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Relationship Advice: Lack of Emotional Safety in Relationship'>Relationship Advice: Lack of Emotional Safety in Relationship</a> <small>I read your article on &#8220;emotional safety&#8221; and it seems...</small></li></ol>

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		<title>6 Tips for Talking About Money Effectively by James W. Walkup, D.Min., LMFT</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/6-tips-for-talking-about-money-effectively/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/6-tips-for-talking-about-money-effectively/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Aug 2010 06:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Healthy Relationships Place - A Relationship Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money in marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=631</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Discuss money only when you are both rested and focused enough to stay out of the usual quagmires of attacking and blaming. Don’t begin a discussion after you both are exhausted from the stress of the day.
2. Agree to take a break when things get tense. Five minute reciprocal backrubs or times to check [...]


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		<title>Commitment &#8211; The Essential Ingredient in Your Relationship by Richard Nicasto, Ph.D.</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/commitment-the-essential-ingredient-in-your-relationship/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/commitment-the-essential-ingredient-in-your-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Jul 2010 06:00:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Guest Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationship Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Healthy Relationships Place - A Relationship Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[commitment in relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship blog]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Anyone who has run a marathon knows about commitment. To compete, the athlete relies on extensive training and physical fitness. But when the initial enthusiasm wanes and the painful, long-distance realities grip the runner’s body, it is sheer dedication–commitment to completing what she started–that sustains the runner’s motivation as she reaches for the finish line.
A [...]


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