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	<title>The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com &#187; Relationship Tips and Tools</title>
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	<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com</link>
	<description>Tools for Marriage, Relationship and Emotional Health.  Articles, tips, advice.</description>
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		<title>5 Ways to Stay Cool in the Face of Another&#8217;s Emotional Reactivity</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-ways-to-stay-cool-in-the-face-of-anothers-emotional-reactivity/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=5-ways-to-stay-cool-in-the-face-of-anothers-emotional-reactivity</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-ways-to-stay-cool-in-the-face-of-anothers-emotional-reactivity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Sep 2011 22:58:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional Intelligence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness in Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional reactivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=5199</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I had a recent experience that tested my patience and challenged me to remain calm in the face of aggressive, critical words.  My initial instinct (my primal lizard brain in activation) was to fight back, defend and point out the ways in which this person had totally missed the mark.  But I didn&#8217;t.  This choice [...]
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Relationship Problems?  Try Dwelling on the Positive</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-problems-try-dwelling-on-the-positive/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=relationship-problems-try-dwelling-on-the-positive</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-problems-try-dwelling-on-the-positive/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:40:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=5032</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do you and your partner ever dwell on the positive in your relationship?  Maybe you should. It&#8217;s really easy to dwell on the negative in our personal lives and relationships.  The brain is wired to have a negativity bias.  In other words, it is more reactive to negative stimulii.  This being the case, it&#8217;s clear how [...]
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>5 Tips to Improve the Communication in Your Relationship</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-tips-to-improve-the-communication-in-your-relationship/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=5-tips-to-improve-the-communication-in-your-relationship</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-tips-to-improve-the-communication-in-your-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Aug 2011 21:30:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=5004</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Whether you&#8217;re in a new dating relationship, engaged or married for years, one of the fundamental elements of a solid relationship foundation is communication.  The following tips can only help to improve communication and thus the quality of your relationship.  “You tell each other when something is bothering you.” The more successful relationships are typically the ones where each [...]
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>5 Tips to Practice Self Care in your Relationships</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-tips-to-practice-self-care-in-your-relationships/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=5-tips-to-practice-self-care-in-your-relationships</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-tips-to-practice-self-care-in-your-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Apr 2011 21:13:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self care in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4801</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s just as important to take care of yourself while in a relationship &#8211; as tending to the relationship itself.  The same thing goes for your friendships, family and others in your inner circle.  To be the best you can be for any of them, you need to be good at knowing when it&#8217;s time [...]
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Valentines Day: 8 Simple Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Cared For</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/valentines-day-8-simple-ways-to-make-your-partner-feel-cared-for/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=valentines-day-8-simple-ways-to-make-your-partner-feel-cared-for</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/valentines-day-8-simple-ways-to-make-your-partner-feel-cared-for/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:06:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[valentines day 8 simple ways to make your partner feel cared for]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4594</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[With Valentines Day approaching, many couples are considering ways to demonstrate their love and affection for each other.  What meaning do you attach to Valentines Day?  What are your expectations?  I subscribe to the notion that it&#8217;s less about &#8220;quantity&#8221; and more about &#8220;quality.&#8221;  It&#8217;s about putting a smile on your sweetie&#8217;s face, about making them [...]
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>5 Marriage Blogs That Rock</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-marriage-blogs-that-rock/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=5-marriage-blogs-that-rock</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/5-marriage-blogs-that-rock/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 Dec 2010 01:25:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage blogs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4402</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My site, The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com was recently nominated as a &#8220;top 10 marriage blog&#8221; for 2010 via a TheMarryBlogger.com.  Considering my site is about supporting marriage, relationship and emotional health (not necessarily marriage-specific), I was surpised but very honored.  I checked out some of the other nominees, some of whom I&#8217;m familiar with and some I wasn&#8217;t but wow [...]
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Practicing Empathy with your Partner in an Argument</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/practicing-empathy-with-your-partner-in-an-argument/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=practicing-empathy-with-your-partner-in-an-argument</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/practicing-empathy-with-your-partner-in-an-argument/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Sep 2010 07:04:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional Intelligence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[arguments with partner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples communication tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[empathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=167</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most simply stated, empathy is the ability to put oneself in another&#8217;s shoes &#8211; and also the willingness to respond to the person&#8217;s needs. I believe it&#8217;s one of the most important components of a happy, healthy relationship. Lack of empathy is a very common problem with couples. Many people never learned how to be [...]
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Stop Being a &#8220;Fixer&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/how-to-stop-being-a-fixer/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=how-to-stop-being-a-fixer</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/how-to-stop-being-a-fixer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 Sep 2010 06:00:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships Misc.]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stop being a fixer]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=391</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you constantly trying to &#8220;fix&#8221; people or your relationships? Do you over-commit to solving other people&#8217;s problems at your own cost? This issue is fairly common in my therapy practice &#8211; and there are some things you can  start thinking about around to how to stop the behavior. Here are 4 things to think about if you&#8217;re a &#8220;fixer&#8221; [...]
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Healthy Marriage:  Are You Allowing Your Spouse to &#8220;Be?&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/healthy-marriage-are-you-allowing-your-spouse-to-be/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=healthy-marriage-are-you-allowing-your-spouse-to-be</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/healthy-marriage-are-you-allowing-your-spouse-to-be/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Sep 2010 17:53:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[allow each other to be]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=4137</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Think back to when you were married.  How did you feel about your partner?  If you&#8217;re like many couples, you were likely smitten, filled with exhuberance and high on the love drugs being released in your bodies in the form of hormones and chemicals to secure the attachment and bond between you.  If asked for a list of [...]
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Warning! 4 Relationship Red Flags not to Ignore</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:21:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship red flags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=1679</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If your gut is telling you something just isn&#8217;t right in your relationship &#8211; then something is probably not right.  But how many of us have at one time or another ignored the &#8220;red flags&#8221; waving furiously in front of our faces?  Probably a good many of us.  Some &#8220;red flags&#8221; are more serious than [...]
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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