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	<title>The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com &#187; Relationship Tips and Tools</title>
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	<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com</link>
	<description>Tools for Marriage, Relationship and Emotional Health.  Articles, tips, advice.</description>
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		<title>Warning! 4 Relationship Red Flags not to Ignore</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:21:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship red flags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=1679</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If your gut is telling you something just isn&#8217;t right in your relationship &#8211; then something is probably not right.  But how many of us have at one time or another ignored the &#8220;red flags&#8221; waving furiously in front of our faces?  Probably a good many of us.  Some &#8220;red flags&#8221; are more serious than [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/relationship-alert-dont-ignore-the-warning-signs/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Relationship Alert! Don&#8217;t Ignore the Warning Signs by Rod Louden, LMFT'>Relationship Alert! Don&#8217;t Ignore the Warning Signs by Rod Louden, LMFT</a> <small>As a psychotherapist in Los Angeles, I routinely get calls...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship'>5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship</a> <small>I&#8217;ve written a lot about healthy relationships and what aspects...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/relationship-tips-and-tools-by-relationship-therapist-lisa-brookes-kift/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT'>Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</a> <small>The following are practical tools and tips you can try...</small></li></ol>

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		<wfw:commentRss>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/warning-4-relationship-red-flags-not-to-ignore/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Couples Conflict:  Stop Blaming Your Partner and Own Your Role</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-conflict-stop-blaming-your-partner-and-own-your-role/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-conflict-stop-blaming-your-partner-and-own-your-role/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:23:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3986</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;If she didn&#8217;t act like such a brat I wouldn&#8217;t blow up!&#8221;
I hear this kind of statement in my couples counseling practice a lot &#8211; and I understand how easy it is for people to slip into blaming their partner rather than looking at their role.  It&#8217;s so much easier, isn&#8217;t it?  Yes but it&#8217;s [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-in-conflict-5-signs-you-dont-fight-fair/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Couples in Conflict: Learn to Fight Fair in Your Relationship'>Couples in Conflict: Learn to Fight Fair in Your Relationship</a> <small>Conflict is a part of life &#8211; and often time...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/practicing-empathy-with-your-partner-in-an-argument/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Practicing Empathy with your Partner in an Argument'>Practicing Empathy with your Partner in an Argument</a> <small>Most simply stated, empathy is the ability to put oneself...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/money-conflict-in-marriage-relationships/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Money Conflict in Marriage / Relationships'>Money Conflict in Marriage / Relationships</a> <small>There are a number of common issues that come up...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>6 Ways to Get the Most of Being Single This Summer</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/6-ways-to-get-the-most-of-being-single-this-summer/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/6-ways-to-get-the-most-of-being-single-this-summer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Jun 2010 23:20:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Single]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage / Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3752</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For those wishing you were in a relationship, the summertime can be a downer lamenting the fact you don&#8217;t have a romantic partner to enjoy it with.  Rather than dwell on the negative of your situation I suggest you take life by the horns and examine a different perspective that highlights  the joys of being single!
As many great aspects there [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/single-hood-how-to-prepare-and-be-ready-for-your-next-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Single-hood: How to Prepare and be Ready for Your Next Relationship by Jennine Estes, LMFT'>Single-hood: How to Prepare and be Ready for Your Next Relationship by Jennine Estes, LMFT</a> <small>Single-hood creates the time so you can prepare for the...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/3-quick-ways-to-spice-up-your-sex-life-by-mou-wilson-mft/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 3 Quick Ways to Spice up your Sex Life by Mou Wilson, MFT'>3 Quick Ways to Spice up your Sex Life by Mou Wilson, MFT</a> <small>Intimacy &#8211; physical and emotional &#8211; is essential for any...</small></li></ol>

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		<wfw:commentRss>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/6-ways-to-get-the-most-of-being-single-this-summer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Manage Negative Emotions in Your Relationship</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/how-to-manage-negative-emotions-in-your-relationship/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/how-to-manage-negative-emotions-in-your-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:34:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness in Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Research]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative emotions in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3485</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Did you know that mindfulness can be a powerful tool in your relationships &#8211; intimate or otherwise?
Consider for a moment the last time you were significantly emotionally triggered by someone. You may have been really angry, frustrated, sad or any number of other distressing and uncomfortable states. If the emotions took you over in a [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-tips-tools-advice/resilience-and-the-brain-managing-emotions-and-overcoming-trauma/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Resilience and the Brain:  Managing Emotions and Overcoming Trauma'>Resilience and the Brain:  Managing Emotions and Overcoming Trauma</a> <small>Emotional and psychological resilience determines how well a person can...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/tools-for-therapists-counselors/notes-from-a-therapists-chair-the-therapy-and-counseling-blog/psychotherapy-neuroscience-attachment-and-mindsight/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Psychotherapy, Neuroscience, Attachment and Mindsight'>Psychotherapy, Neuroscience, Attachment and Mindsight</a> <small>Following on the heels of my recent quest to become...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/the-brain-and-relationships-series-whats-your-relationship-attachment-style/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Brain and Relationships Series: What&#8217;s Your Relationship Attachment Style?'>The Brain and Relationships Series: What&#8217;s Your Relationship Attachment Style?</a> <small>This is the first in a series of articles on...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>25 Steps to a Securely Attached, Amazing Relationship</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/25-steps-to-a-securely-attached-amazing-relationship/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/25-steps-to-a-securely-attached-amazing-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 May 2010 20:55:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3333</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Relationships are important to all of us.  Humans thrive on relationships.  Intimate partnerships are even more important because they are considered adult attachment relationships, where there&#8217;s a similar need for safety, security and connection, as there was when you were born and relied on your parents / primary caregivers.
There are things you and your partner [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship'>5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship</a> <small>I&#8217;ve written a lot about healthy relationships and what aspects...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/how-to-manage-negative-emotions-in-your-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: How to Manage Negative Emotions in Your Relationship'>How to Manage Negative Emotions in Your Relationship</a> <small>Did you know that mindfulness can be a powerful tool...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/is-your-relationship-out-of-balance/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Is Your Relationship Out of Balance?'>Is Your Relationship Out of Balance?</a> <small>One thing I notice in a lot of couples who...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>5 Tips for a Healthy and Happy Marriage</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-and-happy-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-and-happy-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Apr 2010 23:02:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happy marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage tips]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3163</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A happy and healthy marriage is one of the most rewarding experiences people can have.  We are born into this world seeking to attach and bond with others so it makes sense that a quality connection can be such a powerful experience.  But &#8211; anyone who&#8217;s married knows it takes work to sustain a marriage! 
Here [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/the-healthy-relationships-place-a-relationship-blog/maintaining-a-happy-healthy-relationship-after-parenthood/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Maintaining a Happy, Healthy Relationship after Parenthood by Cynthia Shaw, LMHC'>Maintaining a Happy, Healthy Relationship after Parenthood by Cynthia Shaw, LMHC</a> <small>The challenges couples face after becoming parents are varied and...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/3-tips-to-rev-up-your-marriage/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 3 Tips to Rev Up Your Marriage'>3 Tips to Rev Up Your Marriage</a> <small>So your marriage is feeling &#8220;blah?&#8221; Rest assured, it&#8217;s perfectly...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship'>5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship</a> <small>I&#8217;ve written a lot about healthy relationships and what aspects...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Tips for the Problem of Marriage Disconnect</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/tips-for-the-problem-of-marriage-disconnect/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/tips-for-the-problem-of-marriage-disconnect/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Mar 2010 02:50:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=3113</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Marriages are work &#8211; and there&#8217;s nothing wrong with that!  It simply means that many couples need to put a little extra energy and consideration into nurturing their marriages and connection.  It&#8217;s easy to get disconnected but thankfully if both people are interested in finding the bond again &#8211; it&#8217;s absolutely possible.  Let&#8217;s talk about a few tips to [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/3-tips-to-rev-up-your-marriage/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 3 Tips to Rev Up Your Marriage'>3 Tips to Rev Up Your Marriage</a> <small>So your marriage is feeling &#8220;blah?&#8221; Rest assured, it&#8217;s perfectly...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-and-happy-marriage/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 5 Tips for a Healthy and Happy Marriage'>5 Tips for a Healthy and Happy Marriage</a> <small>A happy and healthy marriage is one of the most...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/5-tips-for-a-healthy-relationship/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship'>5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship</a> <small>I&#8217;ve written a lot about healthy relationships and what aspects...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Setting Boundaries for Yourself by Saying &#8220;No&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/setting-boundaries-for-yourself-by-saying-no/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/setting-boundaries-for-yourself-by-saying-no/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Mar 2010 10:27:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships Misc.]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Topics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[setting boundaries]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[People who struggle with setting boundaries for themselves often struggle with saying &#8220;no.&#8221; Using that word can literally bring up discomfort for them. For this reason, they over commit, don&#8217;t end up with any time for themselves and can even be taken advantage of by others. Their friends, family, partners and coworkers can develop unfair [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/healthy-boundaries-in-friendships/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Healthy Boundaries in Friendships'>Healthy Boundaries in Friendships</a> <small>True friendships with staying power are typically the ones where...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/relationship-tips-and-tools-by-relationship-therapist-lisa-brookes-kift/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT'>Marriage and Relationship Tips and Tools by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</a> <small>The following are practical tools and tips you can try...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Impact of Depression on Relationships</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/the-impact-of-depression-on-relationships/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/the-impact-of-depression-on-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:43:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression in relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=2890</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most of us are aware about the havoc that depression can wreak on somebody.  The symptoms can be almost paralyzing; a sensation that a dark cloud stalks them or a pit lingers in their stomach every waking moment.  It can be easy to forget the impact of depression on intimate relationships.
Unless you&#8217;ve been depressed &#8211; [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/couples-in-conflict-5-signs-you-dont-fight-fair/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Couples in Conflict: Learn to Fight Fair in Your Relationship'>Couples in Conflict: Learn to Fight Fair in Your Relationship</a> <small>Conflict is a part of life &#8211; and often time...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-articles/money-conflict-in-marriage-relationships/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Money Conflict in Marriage / Relationships'>Money Conflict in Marriage / Relationships</a> <small>There are a number of common issues that come up...</small></li><li><a href='http://lisakifttherapy.com/mental-health/mental-health-tips-tools-advice/3-tools-to-manage-depression/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 3 Tools to Manage Depression'>3 Tools to Manage Depression</a> <small>The symptoms of depression can be really distressing. For some...</small></li></ol>

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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Ebb and Flow of Marriage</title>
		<link>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/the-ebb-and-flow-of-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://lisakifttherapy.com/relationships/relationship-tips-tools-advice/the-ebb-and-flow-of-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:34:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Healthy Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Tips and Tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage tools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriages]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lisakifttherapy.com/?p=2824</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Marriages change over time.  Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of their marriage typically do well over the long haul.
Consider for a moment how much you&#8217;ve changed in your maturity, likes, dislikes, priorities, stressors, etc.  If you haven&#8217;t changed a bit &#8211; consider yourself extremely unique.
If we are looking at the [...]


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